I requested feedback from one of my play partners – I was interested in finding out what she liked about being tied up, so that I could understand for myself, and so I could explain it to others. This woman is a pretty amazing writer – hope you enjoy it!
Feedback below:
“Hmmm. What I love about rope is complex. I suppose I’ll start from the beginning.
I like everything about actually being tied. I like the feel of the rope dragging across my skin. I like how the tying of the knots yanks me about a bit. I like the pressure of the rope once the knots have been tied; how I can relax into them after a little while and the pressure almost becomes comforting. My breathing will often start off shallow with excitement and anticipation, but as the tie continues and I begin to melt in to it, those breaths become deeper and slower, almost meditative, grounding me in the moment. I am no longer thinking about work or research or students; the stress of the day or what will happen tomorrow – there is only right now; only rope, and you.
I like how the bondage aspect of it offers a lot more restraint than other apparatus such as cuffs or even spreader bars; in rope I cannot move the parts of me that are tied at all, and that is an incredibly strange and vulnerable feeling. Even though other apparatus are also restrictive, if I am in cuffs I can still bend my elbows and move my shoulders, and even in spreader bars I can bend my knees and move pressure to different places. Having that extra muscle control means it is easier to react to whatever is happening to me, and I love to react; love, love, love it. It’s no secret that I am a terrible fidget who cannot stay still in any situation – until I can feel the edge of a blade pressing into my skin at least. However, when movement is literally impossible, I have to surrender to the sensation completely; I physically have no choice, and that makes everything incredibly intense. The kind of intense where the line between pleasure and torture can get easily blurred. I am utterly at your mercy in those sorts of ties. It is one of the most deliriously submissive feelings I have discovered so far.
The amount of time rope takes to tie also adds to everything. It lets all of the sensation and anticipation slowly build up until everything feels pretty heady – especially when the end result is suspension. The time means I have to focus on every little aspect of the experience; how fast my heart is beating, the sound of your breathing in my ear, the drag of the rope or your fingers on my skin, the (sometimes) accidental flick of an end of rope on my flesh, even to focus the concentration and care you are taking.
Everything mentioned above does have the effect of making me incredibly turned on (as if that wasn’t already glaringly obvious) and some of the rope feels I can get regardless of who is tying me, but all the ‘little aspects’ I mentioned that I focus on; those are much more related to connection than to just the rope. The connection makes all of it more than it would be otherwise, much, much more. My submission is not just tied to the rope itself, it is tied to you, so my connection to you greatly influences how much of everything I feel and experience throughout the scene, and directly after it.
Afterwards, the feeling of strange weightlessness and sensation coming back to limbs at the end of a scene, particular a fairly long one, is an incredible buzz and I will generally feel afterwards like I am off my face on happy drugs – very blissed out and touchy-feely (insert ‘ruin me now, I fucking need it’ sex here, thanks). It can last long after the scene is over, until reality slowly appears and wears it away… damn you reality.
Also, regardless of how I feel being tied (which means yes, sometimes I will look at rope pics on FL and just think how amazing that would be to experience), they look fucking awesome and sexy and gorgeous and spine-tingling and impressive. Some of them you have to admire and appreciate, regardless of how you personally might feel about rope.
So, rope pretty much kicks ass….
Can you tie me up now please?“
Wow, very well written and articulated. I could easily repeat much of this for myself, including many of your details. The time it takes, the sensations, the pressure, the removal of decision-making, the submission, especially the explanation of the buildup to suspension…because, yes that is just amazing. I really have nothing useful to say here at all except that I very much relate to your experience of rope, and reading such recognizable feelings coming from someone else makes me realize how lucky i am to get to do this!
Thanks! I’ll pass your compliment on to the writer. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the feedback as much as I do 🙂
Writer here 🙂 Thank you for the lovely comments! It is really awesome to hear that you can relate, and that you are having amazing times in rope too (yay for rope times). We are definitely very lucky to get to do this, and to have our respective wonderful people to be able to experience it with 🙂
This was beautifully written! You were able to articulate thoughts that I’ve struggled to make sense of. I’ve always said I go into something of a trance when I feel rope on my skin. It’s much more than that. Thank you for sharing.
She provided a pretty amazing account, didn’t she? It was so valuable getting that perspective, really helped me understand how people can feel in rope.
My workday involves responsibility for materials, equipment, personnel, tests, inspections, and getting everything done on or ahead of schedule at or below budget. When with my partner I want to do many things with her, but this also involves initiating, reading her verbal and non-verbal cues, etc.
In rope sessions, I give up all those stressors. Voluntarily, I consent to her actions. As I lay there while she binds me, I no longer worry about those work issues. I no longer worry about deciding what and how to interact with her. The decision making is all in her hands. So as she ties, I focus on relaxing, taking deeper breaths… Also, on being conscious of the actions she’s making. moving my leg here, tying my arm in this manner. As well as looking forward to what activities she decides we will perform. Once finished the fun begins. It may start with me satisfying her desires, cunnilingus, etc. (I love giving her pleasure!) Continuing on with her playing with me. Teasing, arousing, by touch, suck, lick, slap, pinch so many options are open to HER. I just lie back relax, obey, sense, and enjoy the entire session.
That is why I enjoy being tied up!
That sounds incredibly relaxing compared to your normal workday!