The Best App For D/s (Dominance and Submission)

Today I’m reviewing the best app for D/s (dominance and submission) that I’ve found so far.

My pet and I have been testing this for roughly a year, and we’ve both found it really useful in helping to support our D/s dynamic. 

I do want to point out that you don’t NEED an app for a D/s dynamic. In fact, I found the very idea of having an app for D/s laughable at first.

Like, what would it do? Punish your submissive for you?

There’s this old trope that “there’s an app for that” in relation to pretty much anything. So one day, a bit over a year ago in good old 2019, I did a search out of sheer curiosity.

Mostly, I found D/s (dominance and submission) dating websites.

But then, I actually did find an app designed to help facilitate D/s. I was curious, and decided to experiment with it within my relationship. 

To my surprise, it turned out that it’s actually pretty great. So after extensive discussion with my pet about what we both like about the app, I’ve decided to share our results. 

An Actual App for D/s (dominance and submission)

The app is called Obedience. It’s free, with some paid upgrades if you feel the need. My pet and I have been using the free version all this time, and that’s worked out really well for us. 

So why is this the best app for D/s?

D/s (dominance and submission) is heavily reliant on ongoing structure, rules, guidance, and communication. And that’s what this app supports. 

Habit Tracking and Training

Rewards And Punishments

Communication and Pictures 

Making Rules, Sharing Notes and Ideas 

Cost 

Summary

Habit Tracking and Training Your Submissive

There’s a lot of nuance to behavioral change, but one of the most powerful means to supporting behavioral change in yourself or someone else is to create habits, and to build those habits into a routine. 

And that’s a big part of the function of Obedience. It’s partly a habit tracker. 

I just create some habits or regular tasks/routines that I want my pet to do, and she ticks them off on the app as she does them. 

And then I get this little heart notification on my app which tells them that the task or habit has been done!

I love this. It’s a great part of my day getting those little notifications and seeing that my pet has done exactly what she’s supposed to have done.

I get this happy little glow, and then I can send my pet a little message on Obedience’s chat function to say “good girl!”. 

This also helps to contribute to that very important sense of being in contact with one’s power exchange partner – which is what makes it work, even when you can’t be physically present due to work or lock down or something else. 

Once the habits, routines or training is nicely embedded, the Dominant can either leave them there, or update them as the needs of the dynamic change. 

Or, they can simply set one off tasks for the day, and then delete the task once it’s finished. 

The ability to support habits and routines was huge over COVID lock down – and everything that supported that was consequently highly valued. I found habit trackers and this app enormously useful during then. 

Using Rewards And Punishments To Support Accountability. 

People respond really well to having rewards or punishments set up to ensure accountability, and this is particularly fun to play with in D/s. 

Obedience makes room for that – you can choose to make use of rewards, or punishments, or both, as best suits you and your partner. Or you can use neither; it’s totally up to you. 

As an example, if a submissive has successfully completed their tasks three days in a row, or something similar, then they might get a bowl of icecream, or some other reward, depending on what works for them. 

(A spanking can be either a punishment or a reward, depending on who you’re playing with 😉 ). 

One of the other major components to successful behavior change is often a sense of external accountability – and that’s where D/s and this app combine really well. 

The submissive feels more motivated to engage in these habits or tasks because the Dominant wants them to – and they know that the Dominant will know when they’ve ticked it off.

It adds more value to their efforts, and increases their enjoyment of doing them.

And as for me, and most other Dominants I know, it’s really enjoyable to reward positive behaviors and tasks well done.

Big warm fuzzies and a sense of pride in my pet for accomplishing the thing 🙂

The Best App For D/s Communication

I think the other thing that makes this the best app for D/s that I’ve found so far is that it’s a fantastic platform for D/s themed communication. 

I have this multifaceted relationship at the moment. My partner is my girlfriend (equal partner) and she’s also my submissive and pet – which is a very different role.

In order to keep things healthy, it’s important to us to have a healthy balance of both, and to know when we’re communicating from the partner dynamic or the D/s dynamic. 

Imagine her looking at a message on FB Messenger, and being like; “okay, is this request coming from my partner as just as my partner, or is this a D/s thing? Because I feel like asking me to pick up groceries or wash the dishes could be either”. 

Using the chat function on Obedience to solve this clarifies things immensely. It’s a private channel for D/s communication. 

You can use Messenger for your everyday random chat, and then switch to Obedience when you want them to do something specifically D/s themed, like vanish into another room to take a picture of themselves for you. 

And then they can send it to you on Obedience, which makes it far less likely that someone else will see kink pictures when you open Messenger for a random conversation.

Ah, the kink hazards. Gotta love ‘em. 

You can also use it to have your pet make you coffee in a very specific way before you arrive home; which, let’s face it, is Very Important. 

Keeping Track of The Rules 

Obedience also has this cute little “notepad” section, which I really enjoy. It’s like a notebook for your D/s relationship. 

It has areas where you can write down the “rules” of your relationship, which is helpful for both parties, and where limits and ideas can be kept or implemented. 

This is also a part of that essential communication, and part of what makes Obedience this awesome all in one solution for D/s notes and electronic communication.  

My pet and I have monthly relationship reviews, and a part of that is checking in on how things are going with our dominance and submission dynamic.

We also sometimes have reviews which are dedicated to just the D/s portion of our relationship – and I think this is a great place to record the outcomes of those talks. 

Cost of the App

The app itself is free. Which I also love.

You can also upgrade to get more power if you want to. 

Presently, I’m using the free version – up to 7 habits or “daily tasks”.

However, if at any point I feel like I need more, I can get a year’s worth of unlimited tasks for the price of a few coffees. As pricing goes, that’s pretty good – I can work with that. 

At time of writing, January 2021, the costs are shown below. 

For those who want more power and would like to get a 10% discount, I’ve contacted the developer and arranged that through this link, because I genuinely feel pretty enthusiastic about this app. 

I’ve also volunteered to be an affiliate, because it’s a product I love and use frequently. So by clicking through that link I get a 10% commission, while still reducing your cost. This helps support this blog and my work, and creates a win-win all around. 

That said, don’t feel any pressure. The free version is very cool, and as I’ve noted, this is what I’m using right now. You can do a lot with just the base app. 

Summary: 

To recap: 

Obedience is very probably the best app for D/s (dominance and submission) so far, and it’s certainly the best app for supporting a D/s relationship I’ve found. 

What works really well:

• It supports habits, routines and training, as well as accountability through cute as fuck notifications
• It supports clear D/s communication in multifaceted relationships
• It gives you a private channel for your D/s communication which ISN’T on Messenger
• You can keep all your notes, rules, and limits for your D/s relationship on it. It’s like your own personal D/s notebook. 
• It’s freaking free. And it’s cheap to upgrade. 

The developer of the app is still working on it and upgrading it from time to time; I quite like the current version because I can find the chat really easily, so hopefully it stays the same for a bit. 

That said, given the amount of thought they’ve put in already, I’ll be interested in how they can improve it further – but as things stand, I honestly think it’s the best app for D/s relationships out there at this time.