I legitimately suck at staying consistent with incorporating bondage in winter, but I’m working on it. Hence the post. I’m acknowledging the problem, and making a plan, dammit!
Where I am, it’s been winter. Spring is coming, but the last month has been super freaking cold, and I have NOT been keeping up with incorporating rope in my scenes.
So, I’m making an analysis of what the fuck is going on, and creating a plan. And doing it publicly, so I’m accountable.
Barriers and Problems:
A. It’s fucking cold.
You know what’s hard to do in the winter?
Stay out of bed. Especially when it’s cold, and super dark, and you’d rather be all cozy and pressed against the warm, naked skin of your lover, getting sexy under the covers.
You know what’s tricky to do when you’re all tangled up in the covers and each other?
Separate yourself enough to expose yourself to the cold and grab some rope!
(Especially when you left the bag on the other side of the room.)
You just don’t want to! You’re like “but it’s all warm and delicious and sexy and I just got out of the cold… maybe I’ll just grab her wrists with my hands.”
Which is fine, it’s a perfectly acceptable way of incorporating physical bondage, but it means you have to keep at least one hand occupied with restraining your person, when you could have tied them up and then felt free to do whatever else you wanted…. with both hands as well.
This is me. This is a me problem. Not a you problem, it’s 100% something that I’ve been running into.
And then I’ve brought all this rope with me and done absolutely nothing with it.
For shame, Pete. For shame.
B: Delicious Cozy Fires and Wonderful TV Shows.
I had a plan. I was going to do some rope with my partner, I knew what I wanted to do and experiment with, and then did I do it?
No, no I fucking didn’t.
Why not?
Because there was a wonderful cozy fire on in the living room, and we started watching an amazingly good show while we ate dinner, and then we needed to wait and digest (do NOT combine bondage with full tummies, folks), so of course we watched another episode, and then we were both tired and wanted to sleep.
I swear to God that fires create the coziest, snuggliest, most-likely-to-make-you-drowsy kind of heat.
Foiled! Foiled by my own hedonistic, curling up in front of the fire and getting sleepy ways!
For future reference, the show was Good Omens. Highly recommend it, they’ve adapted it brilliantly from the book.
Solutions
The good new is, writing out this post is immediately paying off in terms of generating ideas for solutions.
Solution 1: Do Some Fucking Planning.
Even when we’re trying to save money on power during these topsy turvy economic times, spending a few dollars to power your heater and temporarily warm up the bedroom is just good sense – especially when you want to enjoy an hour or two of delicious rope bondage play.
Of note, I find that having a very adjustable heater is very useful. Some people need lots of heat in their scenes, others actually get more uncomfortable and nauseous when they’re tied up and it’s too warm.
So being able to adjust the temperature accordingly is very helpful. My current partner prefers it slightly too cold over too warm. I can work with that. After all, I’m doing more of the moving around, which helps me stay warm.
I just have to make sure the heater is turned on soon enough before the scene. Hence the planning.
Additionally: even if it’s super fucking cold still, if I leave the rope and safety shears by the bed, I don’t have to go nearly as far.
And if I’m still shivering like a little pansy despite the heater, then I can focus on a bondage scene with quick, effective ties, over long, extended ones that take several minutes to do.
Though to be reasonably nice to both myself and my partner, it probably pays to make strategic use of a blanket while I play with her.
Here’s another easy quick, snappy tie that I can use for many bondage scenes in winter, provided my person has the shoulder flexibility for it.
A Brilliant Solution I’ve Either Just Came Up With, or Just Remembered
So, the dinner thing… the problem with cooking a whole dinner before a scene is you need time to digest. But you don’t want your person to be too hungry, or they may get faint and shaky or emotionally dysregulated.
So you need an appropriate snack, arranged beforehand.
And what better snack than a delicious protein bar, which also support your gym and booty gains? I’ve literally just ordered a box of Musashi protein bars (no affiliation) because both me and my partner enjoy them as snacks, and they keep well in wrapping.
I’m probably going to keep a couple in my play bag for when we feel like a scene. You might want to consider a tasty protein bar more local to you if you’re considering doing something similar.
Thus, no lounging about in front of the fire, lazily watching TV while we wait for dinner to cook and then digesting afterwards. Sexy kink bondage times: facilitated.
And finally; one more practical suggestion and solution which I really should have thought of sooner…
Have my partner wear more lingerie during the winter for bondage scenes.
Fuck yes.
Not only is this practical in terms of adding just that extra little bit of coverage for warmth – or considerably more if it incorporates stockings – it’s also extremely motivating for me to plan out and execute more rope bondage scenes. Because they’ll come with tasty tasty lingerie and outfits.
Oh yeah. That’s going to fucking do it.
Okay. I have a plan. I’m going to test the plan. Let’s see how well this works out.
Update: About two weeks after I published the post.
This tested out very well.
I did screw up one thing. The protein bars? Turns out that the protein WAFER bars are much lighter and easier to snack on, whereas the high protein density bars I ordered were a tad heavy. So, learning experience.
Anyway, I planned a scene, used all the tips from this post in adapting for winter, and executed the scene on a cold, rainy winter night.
- I had the rope out where I needed it
- My partner pre-heated the bedroom before I arrived (following appropriate negotiation and expectation setting, of course)
- I requested lingerie and stockings for additional motivation
- I chose a tie which doesn’t take too excessively long to execute
And it was a smashing success.
I think the lingerie and stockings were definitely a really nice additional touch… so much so that I think I need to practice the tie I was using until I literally only need about 5 percent brain capacity to execute it.
Lingerie, man. That can destroy your brain. Especially as the wrapping on an already pretty package.
After the scene, I checked in with my partner and asked her for a bit of feedback about how the adapted winter planning process went for her, and let her know I’d probably throw it into this post as part of my update. Here’s what I got.
“I’m a physically sensitive person, and while there are some benefits for me and my partner (I’m very verbally reactive to his touch), it also means he needs to be aware of my sensory needs during scenes and we manage them together.
As Pete said, too cold and I’ll be focused on that rather than what we’re doing, too hot and I’ll get faint/nauseous. Too much food and I’m too bloated to be squeezed by rope, too little food and I’m low energy or risking getting dizzy.
Either way it’s taking me out of my sub space.
Timing my food intake deliberately, getting the temperature right by preheating the room to a comfortable warmth, and wearing some extra lingerie to prevent getting chilly was just what we needed for me to remain mentally present and blissed out in a wonderfully hot scene recently(Covering up in this case was some new, white, back seam thigh high stockings, combined with red lingerie and red rope. It gave me wonderful naughty nurse vibes.) Pete’s communication and consideration of my needs is part of why he’s an amazing partner in bed and outside of it!!”
Soo… planning and adaptation seems to be winning nicely here!
Not going to lie, I’m extremely pleased with the additional praise, too. Did NOT ask for that, but it’s always welcomed.
There you go. Successful test of doing bondage in winter right.
Although I’m also looking forward to testing a satin robe, with bondage and some gradual, naughty revealing… that’s likely to be fun as well 😀
