Forced Orgasms: fantasy and implementation.

Forced orgasms are something I’ve been planning to get into for a while, but only recently did it become well within my abilities to pull off – combined with a little rope bondage, of course.

This post dives deep into the fantasy of that particular kind of play, why people find it hot, and shares a few practical tips on how you can achieve it, should you and your partner be into that sort of thing (Turns out quite a number of people really really are).

I might have mentioned this before, but women can be pretty kinky, and Blue is no exception. She’s come with a long list of kinky fantasies. Among them has been this one about having forced orgasms.

Now, I like making her fantasies come to life. It’s a lot of fun. I mean, there’s nothing to boost a person’s ego like being able to literally make someone’s fantasies come true.

But when I found out that this one was a thing, I had to take a step back and pause, because I knew damn well that orgasms can be elusive at the best of times. For some women they’re easy, but for others, conditions have to be juuuuust right… if they can orgasm at all.

After all, I believe in being able to deliver on my promises; there’s nothing worse than fronting up with this cocky show of “babe, I’m going to own that fantasy, and give you ALL THE FORCED ORGASMS, because I’m just SO amazing” and then not be able to pull it off.

That would be awkward and disappointing and I’d be more than a bit embarrassed.

Luckily, I held off, and instead of making promises I couldn’t deliver on, I collected ideas and observations, techniques and equipment, until the time was right for me to be pretty damn sure I was going to be successful. I asked around. I paid close attention to what tends to contribute to orgasms, and what detracts from them. I experimented. And, to be honest, I was lucky.

I now have a very well tested set of techniques, (including judicious use of rope bondage, naturally) and one very important piece of equipment which so far been 100% successful in making the forced orgasm fantasy come to life.

And because it’s pretty fun sharing useful stuff like this (the thank you emails are freaking awesome), I’m going to share what I’ve learned with you guys today!

So what’s the idea behind forced orgasms?

Well, actually, it’s closely related to Consensual Non-Consent.

A lot of people, men and women, (including Blue) are really into the whole “helpless, being fucked against their will” fantasy. It tends to be featured in a lot of kinky sexy role plays.

Someone having the power to just hold them down or take advantage of them and do all sorts of things to them while the subject struggles and pleads and cries out most convincingly and thoroughly enjoys the fantasy of being fully fucking ravished, with no responsibility on their part.

So forced orgasms are exactly like that, but one step further.

You know what’s even worse/hotter than being taken against your will?

Having your body made to orgasm despite all your protests and struggles not to.

It’s like this person is not only able to take you against your will, but they’re actively making your body betray you and making you enjoy it , as evidenced by all those orgasms the person is forcing out of you.

Nothing is sacred with these perverts, I swear. Absolutely nothing.

But, then the perversion goes a few steps further!

For those who are capable of multiple orgasms, it’s possible to wrench out orgasm after orgasm, over a period of time, to the point where the person is actually too sensitive to be touched.

Not only are their orgasms now under someone else’s control (oh, the filthy, filthy shame of it) but their orgasms are now a weapon to be used against them, which is quite a few steps further into perversion when you think that, generally, orgasms are something people want in life.

For masochists, or those who seek out extreme experiences, being made to orgasm until it actually hurts and they’re too sensitive to be touched down there can be quite an interesting experience. Imagine going from mock begging “oh, please don’t make me come!” to genuinely begging “no, please no, DON’T MAKE ME COME AGAIN! (insert actual desperation here) ”

There’s just something about someone having that much power over them… submissive people seem to find it all sorts of attractive.

And people like me, who enjoy having the control to make it happen, also find it super fun. It’s pretty win win.

Where The Bondage Comes In

So this is a major kink for quite a lot of people, men and women alike, and because of the nature of this fantasy, bondage often plays a very key role.

In fact, when I think about it, it’s like this fantasy was tailor made for those with an interest in bondage and being tied down!

After all, how else are you going to stop them from squirming away while you’re busy making them come?

Some Practical Tips On The Bondage Aspect

In order for the person to be properly helpless and unable to get away (you know, making the forced orgasm fantasy a lot more realistic) it often helps to tie your victim down.

How you tie the arms is up to you. A double column tie over the head, a single column tie on each wrist so their hands are wide apart, you’ve got plenty of options.

Hell, you could do “chicken wings” if you like, tying their wrists up against their shoulders with a double column tie or something similar to the Best Leg Tie Around. It’ll make them feel extra ridiculous (which could be quite fun), and it’ll offer you another fun option for the future.

You could also tie their wrists to their upper legs, if you have no fixed points around your bed or if the person you’re playing with has mobility issues.

We have to take a slightly more thoughtful approach to the legs, however, because how the legs are tied seems to have this really interesting effect on the ease with which a person approaches orgasm.

You’ll need to test this with your person, but for some people, having their legs tied wide apart actually makes it a lot harder to orgasm.

This can be fun right at the beginning, when you want the person you’re stimulating to think they have a chance of resisting the orgasm. “Oh, this is going to be easier than I thought!”, they think.

And then a few minutes later you change the bondage arrangements so the legs are a bit closer together, and suddenly, they’re not so confident.

Why is this a thing? Well, it seems to have something to do with how the body tenses in order to prepare itself for orgasm.

Most people will tense all around their core as they’re getting ready to come, and many will instinctively bring their legs together to maximize the tension in that area.

If they can’t do that, it can delay things somewhat. Orgasm is still possible, but there’s now a lot more resistance to overcome.

So it’s useful to bear this in mind when thinking about how you’re going to tie the legs. I advocate using your basic single column tie on each ankle at first, so you can experiment and adjust easily as you go, in case legs wide apart or closer together are a major factor for your person.

For Blue, who I already know pretty well, I’ve used the Best Leg Tie around with good success ( she loves the feel of all the rope, which adds to it) but with enough leeway that she can bring her legs close together if she needs to.

The Forced Orgasm Itself

This is where things may get difficult, depending on your person.

Orgasms are strange things. Forced orgasms are as well.

There’s a huge range of different things that can make it easier or harder for people to orgasm. Some of them are physical, some of them are psychological.

And this goes for men, as well as women. There are a whole host of psychological/physical/visual or even auditory cues that can affect a person’s orgasm.

As an example, I tend to find the sound of a woman really, really enjoying herself in bed a massive turn on (hence why I’m generally unlikely to use gags).

But, if I particularly want to draw out whatever’s happening, I might use a gag – just so I’m less stimulated by all those auditory cues, and things progress at a slower pace. I mean, I suppose I could also use ear plugs, but gags are more fun, and can look sexy, and some women are turned on by wearing them.

For Blue, she’s an exhibitionist; so if she knows there are other people watching whatever she’s doing or can hear her or knows what’s up, then she’s more turned on and therefore, more likely to orgasm.

Sometimes, particular stimuli like the wrong kind of fuzzy thing beneath their body, or seeing socks piled in the corner, or anything that your person perceives as being particularly “unsexy” being in the room can be a problem. For example, having the wrong smell present in the room can really distract a person. So pay attention if your person mentions anything in the room that really puts them off.

Some people (more frequently women) just have a lot of trouble coming to an orgasm in general. Often, part of it is psychological; trying too hard, cultural conditioning affecting them in some way, or maybe it’s physical, like their clitoris is just more hidden away and it’s more difficult to access.

It may require a lot of experimentation to figure out the right combination of psychological cues, visual cues, and sensory stimulus, to be able to reliably produce an orgasm. That’s a thing.

And that’s okay, because often the experimentation is a lot of fun for both people.

These difficulties are the main reason I haven’t indulged in the “forced orgasm” fantasy with Blue until recently; when I’m playing with forced orgasms, I want to be certain that I’m going to be able to make those orgasms happen under just about any conditions – after all, that’s the point. Having that control, and making fun things happen with it.

Over time, I’ve put together a list of techniques and equipment that make the whole thing a lot easier.

Tips And Tricks For Mastering Forced Orgasms

Taking your time. This is an amazing opportunity to really indulge in fore play like cunnilingus, fellatio, stroking, etc. It really helps, and in any case, is lots of fun, and gets them appropriately wound up. This is good. Starting slow and light can give your partner some time to feel like they’re successfully resisting, which is a fun part of the game.

Knowing that they’re supposed to be “resisting” the orgasm will often dismantle some of the psychological traps that prevent orgasm; the pressure is taken off, and now the pressure is NOT to come. This can be weirdly liberating for people.

Adding bondage; this very much adds to their feeling of helplessness and “lack of responsibility” which again, removes the pressure to come. Some people can orgasm in bondage but not outside of it. Isn’t kink interesting?

Blindfolds – if your person isn’t dependent on particular visual stimuli, then this can be superbly useful for getting them more present in their bodies, really feeling all those tactile things.

Edging – bringing someone almost to the peak of orgasm, and then backing off. Then gradually working them up again, and then backing off again, maybe 2-3 times.
This works really well for some people, but may not work at all for others (I’ve found it to be powerful as hell).
You also need to be really clear that you’re doing this on purpose – you don’t want them to think it’s by accident, or they may try to make you stop (hell, they may do that anyway, in that role play begging kind of way). This technique is great because it sort of “primes” things so that the person’s bits become just about ready to explode, and when they do come, it’s goddamned hard and melts their brain. Super intense.

Some people can come from oral or cunnilingus, fingering, etc; other people need intercourse. Whichever your person is, you can create a plan to incorporate that – as an example, knowing exactly which position makes your partner more likely to orgasm during intercourse can be a fun part of your evil plan, or if they’re more likely to finish when you’re doing other things, you can build up to that point.

The Ultimate Cheat Code: the Best Forced Orgasm Machine I’ve Ever Found.

This one wand massager was the factor that changed the game, and allowed me to finally begin experimenting with forced orgasms with a high degree of confidence and reliability.

In my search for a very reliable means to create forced orgasms, I’ve experimented with all kinds of things, including wand vibrators such as the Fairy Wand, or a combination of internal and external vibration with insertable vibrators, and all of these have been fun to play with and have produced useful effects – but without getting to the actual orgasm point for Blue.

Additionally, even while the play with these other vibrators was fun, I still had to have them placed on precisely the right spot to even get CLOSE to a peak – and that can be a real hassle when someone can’t help but squirm because of what you’re doing. There have been so many times when things just got away from us because of all the freaking squirming!

Then I found the Doxy. Which was incredibly lucky, and when I learned about it, I seized the opportunity to acquire one.

The Doxy Massager has so far been 100% successful, every time. It’s like the big bully of orgasm makers. Refusal is not an option. Accuracy is not required.
It’s so powerful that if you put it anywhere near the right area, the vibrations will go to where you want them to go, and in Blue’s case, very very soon after that…

Boom.

I’ve put a more detailed review of it here, for those who want to know more about it. I find it to be a VERY handy device to have.

Additional Tips:
It’s important to note that forced orgasms can be done with guys as well – a number of the women I talked to about playing with forced orgasms take special pleasure in doing this with their male partners, really enjoying the power rush. I’m told the female top sometimes has to wait a few minutes after each orgasm (due to sensitivity) but they usually find fun ways to occupy their time.

Apparently vibrators such as The Doxy can work on men as well – while they’re more frequently seen used on women, they can apparently have very interesting effects on some guys too (say two of my male friends). It’s worth experimenting.

If you’re playing for an extended period of time, it’s not a bad idea to be mindful of how long the person is in each position, especially when they’re tied down. If you use simple, comfortable positions that they can maintain for a good length of time, then you don’t need to worry too much, but if you tie them in such a way that their body is a bit stressed (e.g. legs REALLY far apart) then you might want to think about facilitating a change of position eventually. Remember all that tension that happens with orgasms? With stressful positions, that can strain the muscles after a bit, leaving your person with a few aches and pains afterward.

Depending on your person, you may have to build them up to be able to take more than one or two orgasms at a time – they can become super sensitive and, as I mentioned before, you can make them come and come and come until it actually hurts! For some people this is fun, for others it might put them off unless they’ve decided they’re keen to experiment with it.

Blue, as an example, likes to have five minutes between forced orgasms at least so that we can play for longer. If I use the Doxy to make her come again and again and again within five minutes, she quickly becomes over sensitive and has to stop. If I give her a decent rest break between orgasms, we can play for much longer, really draw out the fun, and I can leave her VERY pleasantly exhausted – as well as increase the overall number of orgasms within the play period.

It’s super fun. She feels even more into me than usual afterwards, and I feel very smug.

I think that’s about all the notes I have for you guys at the moment – but I’m not the only one out there playing with forced orgasms.

If anyone else has some great tips to add, please leave them in the comments! It’ll help both me and everyone else who reads this blog 🙂