Pet play is a kink I’ve been learning about due to forming a connection with someone who’s quite into it and who identifies as a “pet”. It’s an interesting thing, tying up a cat-girl…
So this has become a great opportunity to learn something new, and to make sense of it by writing it up and sharing it with my readers – including how some rope bondage can combine rather well with pet play.
Learning About A New Kink
So the back story to all this is that I started dating someone new. We had a number of kinks in common, (among other important things like values and perspectives) and then I learned that my new person had some kinks and forms of play which they highly valued; but which I knew absolutely zero about, including pet play. To me, it made sense to look into this and see if I could enjoy it.
I figured I’d share the learning process with you guys – I figure you might get some value out of it when it comes to learning about new kinks in your own lives.
Running into new and unfamiliar kinks is not an uncommon occurrence; in fact, it happens all the time to all kinds of people.
And it can be a little bit scary at times, when you don’t understand a kink that well, and you haven’t played with it before. It certainly has been for me.
But in any healthy kinky relationship, it’s important to keep a really open mind, and have a decent go at understanding what your new partner may be into. You don’t have to engage in that kink – but it’s often worth having a think about that new kink first, and doing what you can to understand it, before you decide whether or not to give it a try.
Specific useful questions I tend to have when learning about a new kink include:
- What is this all about?
- What are the benefits to the bottom who’s experiencing this?
- Which among these are specific to this particular person that I’m playing with now? What do they specifically really enjoy?
- More importantly, do I enjoy this? Do I find it appealing? What do I enjoy about it? Am I willing to try it out?
First off, I asked my new pet lots of questions. That came first. I wanted to understand how she thought about it, and what she could tell me about it..
Then I watched some Youtube videos.
And then, because I enjoy written content, I read some informative articles at Pet Haven.
And I bought a cheap kindle book involving pet play stories – which actually wasn’t that great, but the context was helpful.
And then we began to experiment and try it out.
Now that it’s a few months later, I’m writing a blog post, because that helps me consolidate my learning.
What Is Pet Play?
Great question.
I’m defining it as a form of role play – in pet play, one person role plays as an animal ; specifically an animal that is a “pet” and is treated like one. The other person role plays as the “owner”, who is responsible for, trains, and plays with the pet.
As we all know, pets get lots of affection, get trained to behave appropriately, are fed, watered, and played with by their owner, and often times they just sort of share presence, co-habitating in the same room. They can be very low maintenance.
From my perspective, it appears that pets get many of the same benefits as people who are getting tied up . But there are also a number of different bonuses which can be really quite appealing.
- Pets who are in “pet play mode” don’t particularly have to worry about human social norms – a big bonus right there.
- They can let their playful side out more, and explore those sides of themselves in a pretty low inhibition manner. Snuggling, batting things across the floor, pushing their face into their owners for attention… all kinds of stuff.
- Most of the “language of affection” most human owners display towards their pets is through touch. Caressing, stroking, patting, etc. Doesn’t particularly matter whether it’s a dog, cat, horse or other; the same seems to be true for everyone. That can be really fun for someone who’s really into touch and being touched.
- There’s not a lot of demand for complex thinking. In fact, the opposite is true. Have you ever just wanted to turn off and just be your more sensual animal side? Not thinking about anything particularly complex, just existing in the moment?
That’s basically what being a pet is all about. Most pets play with someone else who is the human “owner” who provides care, structure, and direction where necessary – effectively making all the decisions.
There’s a lot of “de-humanizing” involved. Taking people from that conscious, thinking, very human frame of mind to something far more simple and in the moment, which I’ve noticed many submissive types absolutely adore, and my pet is no exception.
In some respects, it’s still a form of power exchange – the “Owner” provides direction, is in charge, etc – but it’s power exchange within a very specific type of role play.
Many pets use various bits of gear to help them feel more “pet like”, and get into the zone, if you will. My girl is a kitten, or cat girl; she makes her own ears, and sometimes wears a tail, or uses other gear to help her enjoy her pet space.
Pet Play Gear
It seems that having a little bit of gear goes a long way to helping pets get into their headspace. Some people find props really useful to transition into that different head space, and to get away from their more busy, human mindset. The transition can be a bit challenging depending on what’s been going on, or where your setting is.
Depending on the pet, different things are helpful.
Ears are a really helpful thing for most pets.
For ponies, you can get bridles and hooves.
For puppies, you can get dog masks.
And then there are tails. All kinds of tails.
My pet already has a set of mitts which remove the perception of having “hands”; she finds this enormously helpful for getting into that space. And she’s surprisingly good at batting a ball around on the floor with them.
(You don’t have to have “pet play mitts” for these; any kind of bondage mitts will work quite well, but some people really like the extra animal like aspect. Currently we have plain bondage mitts. )
One thing I personally highly, highly recommend, and which I’m about to buy myself, is knee pads. And there is an enormously practical reason for this.
I’ve done some experiments in tying up my pet’s legs with the best leg tie around during our scenes, some of which are mentioned later on.
And that was great for her pet headspace. She loved it! It was an awesome scene.
But when we do things like that, she ends up moving about on a hard floor either getting carpet burn or impacting on her knees, and… I get really uncomfortable with that.
So, yeah. Safety first. I feel much more comfortable doing stuff like that when her knees are protected. I’m calling it a health investment. Also a mental health investment for my peace of mind!
Some people, when they’re exploring pet play, don’t settle on just one “type” of pet to role play, but will also take on additional different animals, e.g. sometimes puppy, sometimes pony. My pet is seriously eyeing up a little “bunny tail“, which I think will be cute as all hell. I may try and combine a few items on my next internet shopping spree so I can cut down on shipping.
Is the gear totally necessary?
I would say no. You CAN do pet play scenes without it. Pet play is NOT all about the gear… but the props can be really helpful (especially the kneepads!) and a lot of pets will really, really enjoy their props.
So What Do I Enjoy About Pet Play?
I’m enjoying that it can be a super playful form of BDSM. Many forms of kink or BDSM can come across as super serious – this definitely feels like play. A fun way to wind down and interact after work, for example.
As an owner, I can lie back on the couch and pet my kitten while enjoying my post work coffee. This is very low key and rather fun. She gets all snuggly and purry while I get my caffeine hit.
I like that it can be sexual or not sexual, depending on the mood. Apparently some people get crazy sexy when they do pet play, some don’t. My pet and I can change that up depending on how we feel.
I like that my OTHER kinks, including rope, are still super applicable!
The first pet play scene I did, I was at a party and I put my girl in a cage, then dangled a rope into it so she could try and bat it around – very much like when you dangle something in front of a kitten and play with it like that. She was surprisingly fast. Later, I let her out of the cage, tied a knot into some cotton rope, and then we used that as a kitten toy, bouncing it and dragging it across the floor, and she was really into it.
The second one I did, I ended up tying her legs closed so that she had to go about on all fours, using the best leg tie around. She absolutely loved it – both the bondage aspect, because she’s kinky as all hell, but also the feeling of being “less human” and HAVING to go about on all fours ( I was like “ah yes, rope bondage – this feels super familiar”). Then I rolled a red ball across the floor in this “distract the kitty” kind of way, and we played with that for awhile.
The third one I did, I got to use a leash. It wasn’t the leash I would have picked, but I led her about and petted her, and ended up mixing pet play and sort of D/s service stuff when I folded the leash, put it in her mouth, and sent her off to fetch me snacks. Which was hot all on its own.
Notes On Mistakes:
I did make one epic mistake during a pet play scene at a party – I forgot to discuss a clear signal to when the scene ends, so when after we got to what I thought of as the “relax and recover part” and my new partner was still in “pet” mode and I started discussing when we were going home… yeah, she got shocked out of the pet mode pretty quickly. It had been a great scene, but that wasn’t a good ending to it. Yep, even to this day I still make mistakes on occasion.
Solution: So just remember if you’re planning on doing a full on “scene” and your person has been in pet space for awhile, it’s helpful to have a pre-agreed upon way to end the scene so the person can come back to their normal headspace.
The Hotness Of Training
It’s not uncommon for people who engage in power exchange to indulge in position training, where the submissive person is trained to assume particular positions on command. Sometimes this is for aesthetics, and sometimes it’s for practical purposes – e.g. that position looks really freaking hot, or that’s a great position to tie someone in.
And you can adapt some of those into pet play. It’s really big in pony play apparently, but you can do it with puppies, or my case, cat girls as well.
Some examples include:
- “paws up”
- “sit pretty”
- “tail up”
(these commands came from sadistic panther’s blog)
The training was really hot, and unexpectedly sexy, especially the “sit pretty” position. Really helped reinforce my enjoyment of pet play on an aesthetic level, and an “enjoying the sexiness” level.
“Paws up” it turns out, is perfect for getting your pet to raise their hands so you can tie their wrists together; which is also rather helpful.
I really like that you can combine “pet play”with other BDSM activities, including bondage and sex. Some people get confused about this but you’re basically still two kinky humans getting your kink on, just using a slightly different form of role play as you do it. So all your other kinks still get to apply.
There have been some really fun discoveries.
Turns out I find the “cat girl” thing really hot. Her ears really suit her. I’m wondering if all my exposure to anime “cat girls” has left me with some kind of enduring fetish…
I also really like having a girl on a leash – but I’m planning to buy a slightly more BDSM leather one, because that just suits my tastes.
The training was also super hot.
As play goes, I’ve discovered that it’s a nice, low key way to play. It’s very low risk, which is quite nice.
It doesn’t require too much planning. It’s more a case of getting used to it, getting comfortable with the ideas, and then just having some kind of usual structure to how you end the scene.
Learning About New Kinks Can Be Very, Very Worth It
New kinks will often come up in the context of new connections and new relationships, or even a relationship where you’ve known the person for awhile.
And yeah, that can be scary at first, when you’re not used to that one. But exploring them sometimes really pays off in terms of having new fun and games to enjoy with your partner.
Again, it’s useful to talk about it with your partner, and to do your own research on it. Using a range of sources is helpful, and so is taking your time to understand the benefits of the new kink to your partner.
Probably it’s even more important to understand why or how it can be hot for you. It’s totally okay for you to get something totally different out of it than your partner – the important thing is that you can get to enjoy it too.
I’m really enjoying pet play now, and I’m really glad I took the time to learn about it and experiment with it! Playing with my own lovely cat girl continues to be super sexy and fun 🙂
