Rope Bondage As Therapy

Rope bondage as therapy… doesn’t seem like a normal approach, right?

Earlier in the days of this blog, I advocated very strongly that people shouldn’t do rope bondage play when they have a lot of stress going on, because it can lead to some very unfortunate consequences.

I still stand by that… but I’m going to add some qualifiers, because I’ve come across some interesting and potentially useful effects of rope bondage as therapy. 

The main reasons I’ve already written about NOT doing rope bondage play when everything in life is a mess still stand.

When you’re really stressed out and trying to cope with life difficulties and then you take on some kind of BDSM scene with rope bondage as a component (which tends to intensify the psychological impact of any other stimulus) you’re subjecting yourself to some additional intensity that your body and your mind may not be prepared to cope with at that time.

And the after effects of such play (physical discomfort, endorphin drop, etc) may come at a really bad time when you’re trying to cope with all those other life stressors.

In general, it make sense to be pretty cautious around that; and because you want your rope bondage times to remain joyful, awesome, sexy occasions, you don’t necessarily want to contaminate them with that memory of how you felt much much worse following a rope scene.

That said…

There are times when being tied up can actually relieve stress, if you’re careful about what other kinds of stimulation that you throw in there.

Rope Bondage As Therapy = Another Form Of Sensory Modulation Therapy?

A couple of months back, I was having an email conversation with a lovely person from Wales on this very subject. She spoke about how she had a very stressful life at the time, was having difficulties with children, and had some difficulties with PTSD on the side.

She said that there were times when she absolutely craved being tied up, and wished she could be tied up for longer, and she wondered if that was okay.

And my response was, “hey. That’s absolutely normal.”

And this is because one of the joys of rope bondage is that when you’re all tied up, suddenly the general life responsibilities aren’t on you.

All of a sudden, you can relax, because you’re actually physically restrained from having to do and take care of all the things.

You literally can’t do anything… which for some people, means they can finally chill and become a recipient of attention, letting someone else have the responsibility.

So after we had a reassuring conversation around that, I got to thinking about this, and decided to investigate it further.

After some experimentation, research, many conversations with other people who use rope in this way, and a bit of research into other forms of therapy, I’ve formed a few opinions on why rope bondage as therapy can be a means for relieving stress, and how best to make use of that.

There’s a practice in mental health called “sensory modulation therapy“.

The practice is basically designed for people to self manage their stress and turbulent emotions before they lead to damaging or destructive behaviors, and it’s shown some pretty good results.

A lot of people who use sensory modulation as a tool to self regulate have found that they’re able to experience a reduction in stress and a better ability to communicate more effectively with others, as opposed to when they’re all stressed out and turbulent.

The practice involves a little bit of testing, at first, in that you have to learn what stimulation provokes what response in the person – e.g., what kind of music the person find soothing, what scents are soothing as opposed to arousing, what tactile sensations they find relaxing vs uncomfortable, etc.

(it actually reminds me a lot of figuring out what kink activities do it for each individual)

Then, once the person has some idea of what they’re going to find soothing when stressed out, they learn to retreat to a space where they can simply experience these sensations and sensory experiences.

It’s important that there’s no task here that needs to be fulfilled; there’s no success, or failure; there’s just indulging in the experience.

Sound familiar?

What REALLY got my attention when looking at this as I considered rope bondage as therapy is the use of weighted blankets.

A really strong theme is the number of people who find weighted blankets, the sense of pressure and almost restraint, to be really powerful in calming them. I found at least one example of a “material wrap” being placed around someone’s body to help calm them.

Me being me, I immediately saw some connections to people being tied up.

In my head, there are definite parallels between weighted blankets, material wraps, and rope bondage. They all wrap around the body and provide that sense of pressure and restraint. These commonalities may provide some explanation as to why rope bondage as therapy can work as a tool for people to relax and become calmer.

There’s the sense of pressure and restraint; there’s the fact that there’s literally no sense of having to strive; once you’re tied up, you’re rather helpless; and generally, when you’re tied up by your partner, it’s someone you have a lot of trust in.

So you tend to feel safe.

However, it’s not just that.

For those who find the sensation of rope on the skin pleasant, the very act of being tied up by someone trusted and having the rope move along their skin can be immensely grounding. It gets them out of their head, out of their worries, and right into the moment.

Which links rather well to mindfulness and actually being in the present moment, instead of all caught up in one’s worries.

So rope bondage as therapy doesn’t just work in a sensory kind of way, it also works in a mindfulness kind of way, both of which are highly recommended for managing stress.

Practical Implementation of Rope Bondage as Therapy

I’ve been doing some experimentation with this, fairly carefully, and with all of my previous experiences in mind (e.g. not surprising someone with a new sensation once they’re tied up).

And I’ve come to think of this particular form of rope bondage, e.g. rope bondage as therapy, as being a “safe” way to play when things are pretty stressful for Blue.

For example, she finds impact to be ridiculously hot when at a party, and all kinds of S/m play to be sexy as all hell, but the after effects on the body and mind are definitely not good when going through stressful stuff. If she gets a wicked case of endorphin drop, she’s going to be in a really bad place.

However, being tied slowly, sensually, in a warm room with soothing music in the background, will take her right away from the worries and keep her captive to the rope and my hands.

If I go to turn her on or do sexual play during this time, then that can be fun, but it also lessens the relaxing, “therapeutic” effect, so I have to be mindful of that… and maybe use ties that lessen the temptation by keeping her legs closed.

If I change things still further by adding a sleeping mask into the equation… so that she has to focus even more on the sensations of rope, maybe some stroking and petting (of a non-sexual nature), and some gentle kisses…

She’s gone. Deep, right into comforting subspace, where she’s very much enjoying the present moment.

Which is also very very fun for me, because wooo! Look what I can do! I can use the power of my rope and my bondage to therapize the fuck out of this little creature!

Also, there’s something weirdly perverse and fun about it. Tying someone up always has these fun power/kink connotations, and I love that that exists in this context as well. Like yes, I’m tying you up partly to provide a nice safe calm space, but it’s also intimate and sexy and mmm power imbalance…

Who needs lorazepam when you have an hour of intimacy through using rope bondage as therapy?

If I add in a blanket, so that she’s literally tied into a blanket, then the effect is even more powerful (yes, I stole this from the weighted blanket idea).

Now, is this going to work for everyone?

No. It definitely isn’t. I’ve played with people who would begin to vibrate with eager arousal the second the rope touched their skin, and there is no freaking way that tying them up would soothe them. So this definitely isn’t a universal fix.

That said, for many, many people who enjoy being tied up, this is one of the effects that you can achieve. “Ropey sub space” or “rope space” are very common, and you can absolutely hack it to achieve this effect.

Useful Principles To Bear In Mind

So after some testing, I’ve created a few principles that are good to keep in mind when considering doing rope bondage as therapy or stress relief.

– It’s important to think about the person being tied, and the sensations that excite them vs soothe them. Some experimentation may be required to find out which are exciting or which turn them on, as opposed to soothing them… as I mentioned earlier, you don’t want to mix those up. It could lead to some very counterproductive effects.

– It’s very important to be clear on your intent. Is this rope bondage going to be for sexy fun and a “play” scene, or is this rope bondage going to be more about putting the person into a subbed out zone to relieve their stress? (albeit in a kinky manner).

– Also, do they know which one you’re going for? Rope bottoms have some ability to control their state, so it would be helpful for them to know roughly what you’re aiming for so they can facilitate that, too.

– If you’re going to put someone into that subbed out zone, is there anything scheduled to happen immediately afterwards (going out to handle things, etc) which actually might detract from those therapeutic effects?
Because that might be counterproductive. Ideally they get to have at least a couple of hours to have some nice lingering after effects and experience life without rampant cortisol levels.

– Also, when considering the background of your little rope bondage as therapy scene, you might want to consider which music, scents, etc are going to be the most useful in creating that nice soothing environment.

Boom! There you go. Another useful power in your rope bondage tool box, which can be super useful in facilitating intimate sexy times for good and saintly purposes.

For further reading on sensory modulation and reviews of the literature etc, check out this link.

Rope used in this post: Twisted Monk Hemp

Hey, if you’ve had any experiences similar to this one, or that would help others who are thinking about it, could you put them in the comments below? A whole bunch of people read this blog now, and your input could be helpful to them as well.