Over the last two-three months there’s been a lot less active rope bondage going on; which is not in itself a bad thing, and there were some very good reasons for it. Sometimes, it’s wiser NOT to do rope bondage and play.
Blue and I had a FANTASTIC scene at the second to last kink party we went to, which was Christmas themed. It wasn’t physically too strenuous, but in terms of emotion and the kind of intensity you get when you play on multiple kinks, it was pretty great! A big high for us both. There was exhibitionism, light impact, lots of sensation, and bondage.
We both had a marvelous time, and we were one of the first scenes at the party – which is a thing we seem to do often when we play in public. The whole thing was super hot – and we enjoyed every bit of it.
Afterwards, Blue felt sleepy. This is not uncommon after a big public scene, or any other bondage scene. She curled up for awhile and dozed off.
About 15 minutes later, she bolted upright and went very quickly to the bathroom, where she began throwing up violently. After this, she continued to feel and look absolutely awful – dizzy, nauseous, pale – and it was clear that for us, the party was over. I needed to get my darling home and look after her.
So Blue and I went home. We discussed things the next morning, and we agreed that she needed to go see a doctor again, as this kind of result was pretty uncommon after a scene. Blue had remained sick for the rest of that night, and the next day.
So then, a few days later, we got some feedback.
(No; she wasn’t pregnant!)
It turns out that Blue has developed an intolerance to a whole bunch of different foods, but primarily gluten and dairy. No more icecream and milkshakes for her – she now gets violently ill during the night and in the early morning if she indulges in bread or dairy (even a little bit, a few days before!) and that impacts in all kinds of ways in her life.
In the months and weeks previous to our party scene, Blue had had increasingly common feelings of nausea and feeling sick, and with increasing frequency and regularity. She’d gone to see a doc, and they’d suggested that she might be developing a tolerance to different foods, but it wasn’t conclusive. So she’d toughed it out, reduced her intake of processed meats and garlic and a bunch of suggested things, and had continued to live her life.
Blue’s pretty tough; she had gone on three day tramping trips, had late nights studying with little sleep, and had managed all this pretty well, in spite of her health challenges. While she’d felt a bit nauseous in the morning on the day, that was increasingly common, and she’d felt confident that she could easily handle a physically light scene.
When I asked her if she was good to play, she said yes. Because she honestly thought she was, and she thought she could handle a scene without any problems.
This, folks, is what we call a learning experience. In some ways for both of us, but especially for Blue.
That scene wasn’t so physically strenuous, but mind and body are definitely connected, and all the intensity of it really aggravated her symptoms and made her feel way, way worse after the fact. Her system couldn’t handle it.
Let’s face it, rope bondage and rope play have the amazing effect of adding intensity and hotness to everything we do, (which, generally speaking, is awesome) but that’s extremely counterproductive when the person experiencing all that is physically compromised… and being physically unwell tends to affect our mood and our tolerance for other stressors as well.
This is exactly why I ended writing so much about both physical and emotional safety in Rope Bondage the Smart Way; because the good times are really good, but when you make a mistake like that, the bad times are really bad.
Going into things without considering the potential complicating factors can work out pretty badly if things go wrong, which is one of the reasons I tend to plan the hell out of my bondage scenes before executing them.
So over the last few months, there’s been a very deliberate ramping down of all of our kink play while Blue worked on developing new lifestyle habits; and that very definitely included bondage, because for us, that’s intense as all hell.
And this has taken some time, which is totally fair.
It’s really hard to go from enjoying all the same things everyone else does, to having to live with a much more restricted diet. It takes awhile to make a change that big.
It’s also given me a lot of opportunity to practice what I preach – “Be safe, do the smart thing, don’t do intense kink play if things aren’t good in the mental/physical health department”. It’s all very well writing it all the damn time, but the test is what you do when it really matters.
I won’t deny that there have been a lot of weekends when I really wanted to play, when I thought about how hot it would be to have Blue all tied up and blissed out…
But at the end of the day, doing the smart thing and holding off was totally worth it. We would have had a lot more negative experiences otherwise, and the last thing we needed was to create negative associations with our fun bondage play.
Fortunately, as of the weekend before last, we seem to be on again! (You have no IDEA how pleased I am about this!)
Over the last month or so, Blue’s been having more and more time completely nausea free, which has come about entirely through her own efforts of adjusting her lifestyle. We’ve been able to enjoy light bits of fun kink play, and we decided to do a bit more at the Easter party we went to, to test things out.
Blue and I had a fun little bondage scene where she was tied inside a big cage (legs tied to the bars, hair tied to the top so she couldn’t move) while all sorts of things happened that had her thoroughly distracted, and afterwards enjoyed some relaxing tight rope on her legs just for funsies in the social area.
And there were no ill effects from the scene. None whatsoever.
This is good – hell no, this is great! Both because her health is getting better, and there’s much less sickness in her life, AND because we can continue exploring rope again!
Seriously, this has been a worry for so long – I’m really glad things are coming right, and that we’re going to be able to do more of what we both enjoy.
I’m totally going to celebrate – I’ve gone so far as to order a new rope kit of blue hemp because, you know, Blue! It seems appropriate to celebrate the gains she’s made in getting back control of her health. It’ll probably take a bit to arrive, but I’m really looking forward to tying her with it to celebrate those health gains – will probably get some great photos to share with you all 🙂
Do the smart thing! Play safe, think about your wellness, and reap the benefits by having hot kinky bondage times for a long time to come 😀
photo credit: Adrian Cabrero (Mustagrapho) Holding Her Hair Back via photopin (license)
photo credit: Rajesh_India Wada Pav – Mumbai 05 via photopin (license)
