That’s the question, isn’t it? Why do people like getting tied up? What do they get out of it?
Why on earth would you find that sexy?
I’m not the best qualified to answer that question – I mostly tie other people. I’m much better at answering why it’s fun to tie people up.
What I can say, based on the very few times that I’ve been tied, is that it’s peculiarly relaxing.
Suddenly, you don’t have to make any decisions. None at all. It’s all in the other person’s hands. You’re at their mercy. They could do anything to you…
(so you better hope that you’ve negotiated and screened this person first and have reason to trust them)
And it’s a very interesting, and in some ways very HOT feeling, wondering just what erotic things they’re about to do to you. Anticipation. Expectation. Helplessness. Excitement… you’re incredibly there, right in the moment, caught up in erotic intensity.
That’s not much to say, is it? But that’s just my experience.
I decided to go the extra mile for people who want more information, and did some research. I wanted to know what my partners got out of it; what they enjoyed, why they enjoyed it. Hopefully this will help me when I’m having a hot scene with them.
What I asked:
“Why do you enjoy being tied up? What do you get out of it?”
The Answers:
“I like rope because the world falls away from me… it’s just me, the rigger, and the rope.”
“Being tied up gives me freedom from the world.”
“I like having something to struggle against… once I’m tied up I can fight against the rope, but I can’t get far. It’s very primal.”
“I love the feeling of the rope… the way it feels against my skin, the texture, the way it binds me tight in different ways, the way it smells.”
“I get caught up in the fantasy of being helpless… it’s so hot knowing that someone wants me so badly that they’ve tied me up so that I can’t escape, that they HAVE to have me… and I can’t do anything about it.”
“I love trying to escape – I love working out ways to slip out of the rope and untie it. It’s like a game between me and my top.”
“Being tied up makes me feel more connected to him…”
“Everything gets warm and quiet when I’m tied… it makes me feel really warm and fuzzy”.
As you can see, there are a lot of different enjoyments that come into it, and they differ from person to person.
However, in one case, I got something a lot more comprehensive and detailed.
Here’s the written feedback I got from one of my rope partners.
I’m really interested in other people’s experiences with rope and what they enjoy about being tied up. So if you feel you can contribute and further mine and the reader’s knowledge about the experience of being tied, then please comment below.
For some reason it just dawned on me that tying a woman up is a kind of foreplay. It takes time. It takes trust. It involves touching. It’s personal. It’s intimate. It actually makes perfect sense that women love it.
HahaI have just realized that that probably would have summed up the whole post a lot faster…
Idk but alot of you say it brings you closer. I dont feel that way. My husband goes into outer space. I’m not condemning anyone dont get me wrong. But I’m having a hard time enjoying it. It’s never been one of my things and still dont feel it is after several times of trying.
Guess I should tell him?
That’s probably wise. If it’s not for you, then it’s not for you, and that’s okay.
If you think only women love being tied up and only men like to tie, you’re limiting the kind of connections you’ll be able to make with rope. Even if you are only interested in partnerships that follow that pattern, you’re still alienating potential friends, allies, teachers, students in the rope community by assuming a particular role based on perceived gender and by not acknowledging gender-variant people.
I completely agree, it takes that connection to a new level.
it is not only that.. for a person like me who is suffering from fear of being abandoned and suffering from bpd it is much much deeper than sexual, erotic or hot feeling.. at the first 2 minutes i will panick at the helpless sensation but then i will feel more relaxed.. i feel safe and secure.. the ropes would give me something i couldn’t have as a child.. the ropes are tight but it feel like a tight hug.. like someone there to secure and give you safety.. someone to take away all the responsibility away from you… the ropes are there and they wont abandone you any soon…
As a man who has enjoyed, actually craved, the experience of being bound, gagged, and helpless, I have struggled for years to come to peace with my desire. I’m 74 years old and I was born in a time and in a place where men did not talk of such things and in which a man, by God, took care of his own problems and never, ever asked for help. To admit a yen to be tied up would have led me to being called all sorts of derogatory names and ostracized from the company of other young men. This desire, my need to be made helpless, began at about age five, so it simply could not have had any sexual connotation whatsoever. I was sitting at our dining table, listening to our old Zenith floor model radio. The newsman was reporting that a man had been robbed a few nights before and left bound and gagged by the robbers. He was unable to free himself and remained tied up and gagged until he was discovered and freed the next day. I was filled with a feeling of excitement mixed with horror. What would it feel like for someone to tie me up, gag me, and walk away, leaving me helpless and unable to escape? What if no one found me? Fortunately, I have been married for 33 years who understands my need to be restrained and has always been eager to participate in bondage activities. I’ve spent countless hours tied up over the years. I can no longer get my elbows together behind my back or twist my arms into a reverse prayer position, ah, but I have the memories.
Thank you for this. It’s helped my perspective on many things.
i love to be tied up and gagged by a woman in stockings and suspenders i would never tie a women up
There is actually some science around it. Rope pressure tends to suppress the sympathetic nervous system (basically your fight or flight instincts) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (used for sleeping and digesting) in a lot of people and that is why ropebunny-space is very zen and calming. I use it to treat my anxiety after a difficult day. When people find out about it I just say that it is an ancient japanese cure for stress 😉
I have enjoyed self bondage for as long as I can remember, over 60 years, I would tie my feet together before kindergarten. My Aunt would buy me cowboy lasso’s and let me tie her up when I was in grade school. She came to my house one day when I was sick and asked me if tying her up would make me feel better. It did, of course.
Currently I do quite a bit of self bondage and I have several current female family friends, and a couple of professional models who I pay, to let me tie them up and shoot photos. I’ve been married twice. I didn’t let my first wife know of my fetish but I did let my current wife of 25 plus years know, She would indulge me every once in a while to be tied up but her recent health problems have stopped that.
I cannot look an an attractive lady, especially one with great legs, and not imagine her tied up and gagged. There has never been a time where rape or violence was part of my fantasy. I prefer for the bottom to be a willing participant. As far as self bondage I love a secure hog tie, which I have perfected over the years and my longest time spent that way was 2 hours.
Thank you for allowing me to share!!
Stu